My Answer to: What are the benefits of getting legally married instead of just living together as partners for life without going through all the hassle of paperwork and ceremonies etc.?

There are Biblical reasons why marriage is an excellent choice and terrible reasons why you shouldn't consider it if you plan to live in the United States. I will share my humble opinion.

Marriage versus living together are NOT the same. Marriage can not be simulated. Marriage is recognized and ordained by God Himself. He watches over it, blesses it, and the marriage covenant is considered a form of government as far as He is concerned. God's recognition of your marriage as a government, can yield "government' like blessings, recognition and generational blessings and stability.

Living together is none of these things and if you're having sex outside of marriage, He considers that fornication, which prevents Him from blessing you and your partner. This is not His best for you.

Any man and woman who are considering marriage, must first put away any notion of what modern society teaches, portrays in TV, films, magazines, and the education system concerning what marriage is and isn't. Why? Because society, filmmakers, article writers, and network TY producers did not create marriage. Thus their notions and advice are irrelevant.

Any couple should thoroughly examine and understand the origin of marriage in the context of Biblical principles. Why? Because God created it for a specific purpose.

If you do not know that purpose, you will likely be unaware and probably marry for the wrong reasons. As a result, you both live frustrated lives and eventually divorce.

Secondly, if your intentions were to begin with the end in mind, you won't get married only to divorce. 

Most people who desire marriage do not educate themselves before getting engaged. Reading relevant books, listening to audiobooks and watching relevant videos would be vitally helpful to you and your relationship. The following are the benefits.

Exclusivity, companionship, emotional safety, and care - God created marriage for companionship, Genesis 2:18 (NIV) 18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

The word "suitable": in this context is the Hebrew word "need." which means:  in front of, in sight of, or opposite to. In this context, opposite means two complementary or mutually exclusive (limited to only one person or group of people). The word mutual means: In a mutual manner, reciprocally, in a manner of giving and receiving (Cambridge Dictionary).

So you can see, from the beginning, marriage was designed for companionship and care to be mutually shared by a specific and exclusive person. This provides for emotional safety, comfort, security, and care.

The husband receives the blessing of God on his life and household - Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) 22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

God desires to bless you and your family. If you follow His direction and instructions, you open the ability for God to bless you, your family, and everything you do and have. You can see exactly what this means in Deuteronomy 28:1-14.

You are in covenant with God and your spouse, God becomes a witness in your marriage, He blesses you with children (a bloodline), to be raised in Godly principles - Malachi 2:13-16 (NIV) 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

16 "The man who hates and divorces his wife," says the Lord, the God of Israel, "does violence to the one he should protect," says the Lord Almighty.

So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

We see the term covenant in Genesis 9:13 when God promises with a covenant, a solemn oath never to destroy the Earth with water again. According to the King James Bible, the oath requires one to "do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." Adhering to covenant principals protects your bloodline, stabilizes the family, and establishes standards for your generations to follow.

If you are a person of integrity and faith and have chosen a partner that shares your same values, your life and marriage will be blessed. It will last its intended term, which in the Biblical context is for life. A life like this is hard to beat. 

The following comment is for men. According to published statistics, women are now cheating more than men. For example, 34% of husbands are raising children that are not biologically their own, and women initiate 84% of all divorces in the United States. This number jumps to 94% if college educated. 

Women are favored by the courts so men lose terribly in most divorces. The man's accumulated wealth is redistributed by biased judges. Wives often win even if they cheated in their marriages. The child support system provides great wealth for the states so it is to their benefit to put men in the system. 

Additionally, women are also favored by the courts when it comes to child custody. Men are having to fight in the courts to see their own children.

As of this writing, if you happen to live in the United States, and due to the indoctrination of feminism in nearly every area of society, finding a wife with traditional Biblical values will likely be challenging. Therefore, I suggest going overseas, where you are most likely to find partners with traditional family values that you can marry for life. Marry her in her own country and live there. I would not consider bringing her to the United States only to be negatively influenced.

What are your thoughts about this? Please leave your comments below.

-John

My Answer to: What are some tips for having a productive conversation with your spouse without getting into arguments?

 I would start with the wisdom of the Bible in the book of James. James 1:19-20 (NIV) says: 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

The word "righteousness" means "right standing with God." Since you used the word "spouse," it lets me know that at some point in your past, you and your spouse stood before a priest or officiant and entered into a marriage covenant before God. You did so to please God, and your vows were the scope by which you would do so.

I would also practice "active listening" versus "passive listening." It is a better way to have a conversation and will significantly assist you in developing and maintaining your marriage.

Active listening and James' advice are excellent ways of showing your love for your husband and being in right standing before God. When I say "love," I am talking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV) love: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Touching while talking is an effective non-verbal way of letting your spouse know that you love them, no matter the difficulty of the topic. This can be done by simply touching their leg, shoulder, hand etc.

I would also become an avid learner about marriage and relationships. Reading great books can fast-track your progress. There is so much to learn, and the results will stabilize your relationship in an unexpected way.

-John

My Answer to: "Are there any effective strategies to help a couple communicate more effectively regarding marital issues?"

 Thank you for the question. What comes to mind for me are several strategies that I will share. They will come from several sources starting with the Bible.

The first comes from the book of Proverbs, 1 Peter and then James. Proverbs 4:7 (NIV) 7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

The Amplified Bible (AMPC) says it this way: 7 The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom (skillful and godly Wisdom)! [For skillful and godly Wisdom is the principal thing.] And with all you have gotten, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation).

1 Peter 3:7 (AMPC) 7 In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

James 2:19-21 (NIV) 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Proverbs 4:7 says that we are to obtain wisdom. When you got a job, someone had to teach you how to do what you were hired for. You might have received training, even formal training. Why? Because it would be ridiculous to try to put you to work when you did not know what you were doing.

That said, how do you expect to be married to another person without knowledge? When was the last time that you read a book about marriage and relationships? Knowing what to do can fast-track your knowledge thus your results. This article is one example.

In 1 Peter, men are called to live considerately with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relationship. He is also to honor the wife, which means to give "high respect, great esteem." Intelligence comes by making an effort to learn things that you did not previously know. For example, did you know that if a husband and wife argue to the point where the situation becomes heated, a hormone is released in the brain. This causes a part of your brain to switch your brain over to a “fight or flight” mode. James warns us NOT to become angry.

In this state, you become physiologically unable to intelligently reason. At this point, most couples keep trying and make matters worse. It will take approximately four hours for the condition to subside. If you knew this beforehand you could now recognize what is happening and respond in kind. I learned this by reading a book titled “Wired for Love '' by Dr. Stan Tatkin. Reading marriage and relationship books is a very effective strategy to improve your marriage.

In James, Chapter 2, he is wise to suggest that we do more listening than talking. In the midst of a disagreement, even an argument, our focus is usually to be heard. In fact, the ultimate goal for any form of effective communication is NOT to be heard but to be understood. It takes a certain amount of humility to truly listen to someone else. This is where many couples miss the whole point of communication.

First, a couple should humble themselves. Remembering that you both promised on your wedding day that you would love each other. Humbling oneself enough and being patient enough to listen without any other agenda but to understand IS an act of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

In closing, I realize that what I have explained is more than you anticipated. Most people do not like to read, and statistics say that 65% of people haven’t likely read a single book since graduating high school or college. Since you asked me such an insightful question, I believe you to be in the 35% of those who will.

Finally, Peter mentioned “that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off.” This means that you should be praying. I pray on a daily basis, and I find prayer to be a very effective strategy. Prayer is simply talking to God, having a respectful conversation (There are great books on prayer). I highly recommend that you pray for yourselves and each other as you go through the process. Journaling can help as well to fine-tune the education process. I hope this helped.

-John

Don't Ignore Your Body, You Might Get Only One Opportunity

 This is a true story that I hope helps even one person. Last Tuesday, I woke up about 2:00 AM in the morning to go to the restroom. I felt nauseous and the bathroom seemed to be spinning. I struggled to make it back to my bedroom, clinging to the walls and my furniture as I entered. I sat on the edge of the bed.

I felt nauseous and began to vomit in the trash can. I began feeling a tingling in my right hand, down my arm, right leg to my foot. I was thinking that a nap won't fix this. I was alone so I called my cousin who lives up the road. God bless him, he said that he would be right over, and never complained once.

After arriving at the hospital, they tested, took blood, but at the end of it all, nothing was found. I heard words like mini stroke, pinched nerve, etc. As my cousin was driving me home, I began to reflect on what I just experienced. 

To give you perspective, the following was my life before this event. I would wake up in the morning at 2:30-3:00 AM in the morning. I would pray, answer messages, emails and articles for about an hour. I would then write music charts and practice from 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM. I am aware that my work isn't physically taxing. However, the mental energy required to do these tasks can be intense. I was at this for weeks.

In short, I wasn't giving my mind a break, never took time for fun or relaxation. Taking time to decompress your mind is important and is not an option. What good is achieving goals if you do not have the health to enjoy your successes with your family and the one's that you love? 

Don't do what I did. I count myself fortunate that it wasn't a worse health situation for me. Reconsider your pace and how much time you spend working. You don't want to regret not taking the time needed to care for your mental state and health. Take care of it like you do the most perceived important things in your life.

-John

Don't Get Tired of Doing Good - It Will Pay Off

 There are times in our lives when we feel feel like it has become routine. It may appear that we are doing the same thing everyday, while seemingly not making any progress, or as much progress that we desire. It can feel disappointing at times. As a Christian, I am reminded of the scripture passage in Galatians 6:9 (NIV) 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I looked up the word "well-doing (in doing good)," in the original Greek. It means: beautiful, but chiefly good, i.e. Valuable or virtuous.

What a description that is! Did you know that what you might feel to be ordinary and mundane, can be viewed by others as beautiful, valuable and virtuous? Moreover Almighty God sees what you are doing and if you are doing good, He sees it as valuable. In fact, the seeds of good work(s) that you are sowing, He promises that it WILL bring a harvest, IF, you do not faint or give up.

The Greek word for "give up" means to "To loose, release, unloose (as a bow-string), relax, enfeeble; pass." What I found interesting about this definition is that it reminded of another word that is related to the bow. That is the word "sin." It is more of a military term that meant in the day of the use of bows and arrows to "miss the mark." In other words, when an archer aimed at a target and missed hitting it with his arrow, his fellow archers would say that he "sinned" or missed the mark.

When we get weary and give up, we miss the mark as well. Instead of getting frustrated by the routine and the seemingly lack of progress, kindly consider seeing this as a test of your resolve. After all, if achieving goals were that easy, everyone would be doing it and with ease. Furthermore, experiencing the harvest will be all that much sweeter and you will fully appreciate it. 

Keep going my friend. Don't give up now. You are likely closer than you think. Look forward to celebrating your harvest with family and friends. Look forward to the feeling of achieving something truly remarkable. In your later days, it will be another cherished memory for you to enjoy.

-John

It's Happening! "Wormhole Moon II - Paradigm Shift" Is In Editing!

Hello Everyone!

    Thank you for reading my blog. I am very pleased to announce that Wormhole Moon has been a great success being my debut, Amazon 4.4-Star rated, Science Fiction novel. WHM II has entered the editing process. I have waited a very long time to get to the point and I give God all the praise and glory for it.

    I am so excited, I am going to post the first couple of paragraphs here, that's right, right here for your reading enjoyment! I want to thank all of you who have read my first book and have waited patiently for the second. I am grateful for that and I appreciate your patronage. Without further adieu, here are the first few paragraphs.

"Wormhole Moon II - Paradigm Shift," Chapter One

    The effectual alien harbingers of death are embedded in the cold hard Earth like they own it. They have now made the Antarctic their home. The environment is intolerably cold, brutal to naked skin, and wickedly savage to unprotected extremities. Swirling white snow blows over beautifully sculpted snow dunes, making shapes and designs as if by the hands of angels. Surely no one would find them here, or so they thought.

    There is neither sight nor sound of a human soul for one hundred miles. You could yell at the top of your voice and not be heard. Even in this isolated environment, there is not the slightest hint that over one hundred Chemdi-Shakahr (Chem-die Sha-car) are residing there in their half-buried cloaked spaceship. The Chemdi base ship is nestled in the hardened snow and ice of the remote, barren land in the southernmost part of Earth’s hemisphere.

    The base ship is a little over 1500 miles west of the United States Antarctic Program (USAP) base, McMurdo Station, and about 100 miles south of the subglacial Lake Vostok where the Chemdi identified an Earth outpost. The ship is strategically positioned, and to the Chemdi’s knowledge, their presence is so far undetected by the would-be slaves on Earth. Although the Chemdi is space travelers, they are also savage beasts, with their four powerful arms, webbed feet, and four fiery red eyes. [They clothe themselves in long cape-like robes of black adorned with what look like gold and silver-colored stoles as if they were royalty. They have declared themselves enemies of both Meritor and Earth, as directed by the Khorathians. The Khorathians are the leaders of this conflict and having an average age of nearly one thousand Earth years, manage it well. Meritor is Earth’s new and first alien ally. The highly intelligent and more advanced race fought together with Earth to defeat this enemy in their first battle. The Chemdi and their Khorathian leaders underestimated this alliance and will return to avenge their lost warriors. To that end, they will harass and cause the people of Earth to fear them before their second battle plans are complete.

    The Chemdi have observed the indigenous Earth wildlife, but nothing else so far. The ship’s commander is focused on accomplishing what is expected of him by Headquarters. A lone transport ship containing twelve Chemdi rises slowly in a creeping ascent from the -50° surface of the base ship’s deck. It flies through the force field disguising the base. The ship is carrying the supplies necessary for the Chemdi to establish a small stronghold in a secluded area of their choice. They seem to prefer secluded islands, but wildernesses will also do. Their forward reconnaissance team has done well; they know that the Earth is replete with secluded spaces, and they will put them to good use.

    The flight crew scans for enemy contacts, not expecting to find any. They have come to learn that creatures of Earth do not fly at night in this region. They see Earthlings as weak and petty. They have concluded that they tend to act out of fear. They also appear to behave as if they are the center of the universe. They are an arrogant and short-sighted race of beings that the Chemdi has come to despise...Except for one. Although a likely slave in their view, this individual has earned their respect. No other race of beings has disgraced them by destroying an entire ship brimming with Chemdi from the inside as the one they call the Long Weapon Warrior! This is their reference to Major Deon Striker. His heroic and seemingly impossible feat left a bitter taste in the mouths of the Chemdi-Shakahr and their leaders. They all know him by name and if given a chance, will kill him on sight.       

***   

    I hope that you enjoyed it so far. If you did, kindly leave a comment, suggestions, or feedback! I appreciate all who have supported me thus far. Additionally, your requests to make "Wormhole Moon" into a long-play feature film, have not fallen on deaf ears. I am believing for the funding necessary to shoot the two screenplays in succession. I kindly ask that you remember me in your prayers as well. Until next time, thank you again, and may God bless you all.

Kind regards,

-John

A New Journey Begins

 Have you ever had a passion to do something that made your heart sing, but it didn’t make enough money to sustain you yet? I found myself in this position.

    After many years in a career that I loved at first until about 10 years ago (Aviation), I assessed the toll that it had taken on me and the distance I always had to be from my family. I needed to continue to work to maintain certain financial obligations so switching careers wasn’t really an option for me if I wanted to maintain my current income level. All the while at the same time, I was working on my dream to be an author and filmmaker during my days off.

    I wanted to find work near my home, but I knew that gainful employment, with the skill set that I have would take me 2 ½ hours away. I ended up being hired by the Navy about 45 minutes away. It was a wonderful experience as I attended their nine-month training program. I had the opportunity to meet some outstanding people that will be friends for life.

    Although I was making far below what I was used to, it was a steady job that brought in an income that I was grateful for. Even so all the while this dream of becoming a full-time author and filmmaker never left me, I would do what I have always done and worked it part-time. Every morning, I would pray and ask God to open doors of opportunity for me to be able to work it full-time, making a better income than I ever had.

    Fast forward to January 5^th, 2022. I was released from the program. In my heart, I already had a sense it was coming and started a project that would mitigate (my YouTube channel). As I now have all the time in the world to work on my own projects and learn many new things, I am completely invigorated! In the last 30 days, I have had to learn Canva, Adobe Premiere Pro, Shopify, how to create and edit my own videos, filmmaking, podcasting, Book bolt, how to create my own low-content books, etc. I feel that I am living the life that I want and the income that I desire will not only come but will exceed my expectations. It has been an exciting time.

    If you have a dream, and you are working a job that you dislike or even hate, pray. Things may not happen the way that you would like, but it is okay. It is simply a means to an expected end, and you start to live in a way that is more aligned with who you were created to be.

    In closing, no matter where our journey takes us, we still live in the backdrop of that which is eternal. Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) says: In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

-John