My Answer to: "Is there a hope of being married to a good guy?"

"Is there a hope of being married to a good guy for a woman with no good family background or dysfunctional family background?" Thank you for such an honest and self-reflective question. My answer to your question is a resounding “yes,” there is hope. If more people asked such questions, they would likely be better off.

Unfortunately, what being raised in a dysfunctional family does is that it conditions the child to believe that their emotional yardstick is 2 ½ or 4 feet long, rather than the standard 3 feet. Often they will use coping mechanisms to survive, and may not come to the realization for many years that how they were raised wasn’t their fault. When this happens, we should be gentle with ourselves and simply attempt to get the help we need. We should also understand that we do not have to be the people we were in our past. We can learn new things, change, grow and pursue our future with a new understanding and self-awareness. Proverbs 4:7 (NIV) says: 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. We cannot practice that which we have never learned. I would start with reading great relationship and marriage books. Hardly any of us were formally taught the things that books like these offer. Knowing better, will equip you to do better. Practicing what you learned over-time, will increase your knowledge, give you wisdom and growth. Although books are a great source of knowledge and wisdom, you may find that you require a more robust approach. If so, book an appointment with a mental healthcare professional to assist you in sorting out some of your challenges. Getting emotionally healthy is always a wise decision and will be a great help to you and your future. It will give you confidence and even help you select a better potential life-long partner. -John

The Benefits of Coaching

I have always been in favor of coaching for other people...not necessarily for me, until now. I have a saying, "The more that you try to do, the more help and tools that you will need."

I have been blessed with an amazing coach. She has wonderful ideas, asks me great questions and causes my imagination to fire and think of other ideas. History has proven that some of the most successful CEO's gather the smartest people around them. why? Because a collection of wise men can help you succeed. The Bible says this: Proverbs 15:22(NIV) Plans fall for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. If I were to be honest, people who won't consider getting help from a coach or otherwise, may be struggling with pride. At some point in our lives or another, we all will need help. The opposite of pride is humility. Humility is vital when you are seeking success because the kind of success that spans over generations will require God's blessing. Approaching anyone for help, especially God, will require humility. "Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV). Although my coach and I discussed ideas, she wasn't shy to say the "hard" stuff. Truth be told, we all need to hear the "hard" stuff, meaning the things we don't want to hear or don't want to do or stop doing. Whether those words come from a professional life-coach, or innocent five year old we would benefit from listening. Instead of buying something that you will not likely use after three months, or get bored with, why not invest in yourself? Level up and get a coach. When you do, be painfully honest with them. It will be some of the best money you have spent especially in your coming new year. -John