My Answer to: "What or who is your source of sorrow? My husband makes me so sad and life unbearable."

 May I gently say that no one can make you feel one way or another? May I also say that you are choosing to feel how you feel. Could it be that are unknowingly giving your husband too much of your personal power? We will always be impacted by one thing or another. It is up to us, how we choose to respond, not react, to it.

Sorrow can also come from what you are exposing yourself to the most. Perhaps you are watching many hours of TV, movies, or reading romance novels? Whatever troubles that you have, will likely only be amplified by spending too much time partaking of these things. Perhaps you need some wisdom. I present to you; Proverbs 4:7 (CEB) 7 The beginning of wisdom: Get wisdom! Get understanding before anything else.

The same text that governs your marriage also has great suggestions on how to govern your thoughts. In the Bible, the book of Philippians says in chapter 4, verse 8 (NIV), 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I would kindly recommend that you consider improving yourself. The reason I say this, initially, many of us look outwardly when trying to analyze a problem. We might first consider starting with ourselves. May I ask, when was the last time you read a great marriage and relationship book, or attended a marriage seminar with your husband?

There are many great books, audiobooks, podcasts, and seminars that can show you different aspects, and best practices of love and relationships. Many seminars are even interactive. Sometimes we need to be impacted by better and more information than we have. It can give us opportunities for growth and great insight that we otherwise would not have been exposed to.

Why do you need this? We often have ingrained perceptions and stay within a certain circle of people. Thus, we get same kind of input. A fresh perspective can be refreshing, even vitally important. Our own actions or inactions, diet, lack of exercise, lack of water intake may contribute to your emotional state as well. I gently prompt you to start with a concise self-assessment.

In conclusion, you also said that you felt as if your life was unbearable. A change in afore mentioned things may be great for you and your daughter. As for your husband, while things are in the process of moving in the right direction, kindly choose to “love” your husband. The stance of scripture says that love is NOT primarily a feeling but a “verb,” something that we do. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (CEB) 4 Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, 5 it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, 6 it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. 7 Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

-John

Don't Ignore Your Body, You Might Get Only One Opportunity

 This is a true story that I hope helps even one person. Last Tuesday, I woke up about 2:00 AM in the morning to go to the restroom. I felt nauseous and the bathroom seemed to be spinning. I struggled to make it back to my bedroom, clinging to the walls and my furniture as I entered. I sat on the edge of the bed.

I felt nauseous and began to vomit in the trash can. I began feeling a tingling in my right hand, down my arm, right leg to my foot. I was thinking that a nap won't fix this. I was alone so I called my cousin who lives up the road. God bless him, he said that he would be right over, and never complained once.

After arriving at the hospital, they tested, took blood, but at the end of it all, nothing was found. I heard words like mini stroke, pinched nerve, etc. As my cousin was driving me home, I began to reflect on what I just experienced. 

To give you perspective, the following was my life before this event. I would wake up in the morning at 2:30-3:00 AM in the morning. I would pray, answer messages, emails and articles for about an hour. I would then write music charts and practice from 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM. I am aware that my work isn't physically taxing. However, the mental energy required to do these tasks can be intense. I was at this for weeks.

In short, I wasn't giving my mind a break, never took time for fun or relaxation. Taking time to decompress your mind is important and is not an option. What good is achieving goals if you do not have the health to enjoy your successes with your family and the one's that you love? 

Don't do what I did. I count myself fortunate that it wasn't a worse health situation for me. Reconsider your pace and how much time you spend working. You don't want to regret not taking the time needed to care for your mental state and health. Take care of it like you do the most perceived important things in your life.

-John