My Answer: How Do I Find My True Wife?

In my humble opinion, finding a wife is not about discovering her. In the Bible, there are a number of accounts that I will reference to assist you. If you are prepared for her, and you are praying for her, God will bring her to you, like He brought Eve to Adam, Rachel to Isaac, and Ruth to Boaz.

Too many men assume that they are prepared. What sense would it make for God to send you a beautiful, and honorable wife (His daughter) and you cause her to cry out to Him in anguish as the result of your misbehavior and mistreatment of her? He wouldn't until you were ready. The following are a few points to consider.

1) Have you prepared yourself with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding? -Proverbs 4:7 (KJV) says: 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

The marriage covenant is very serious. As her husband, you need to know what you are doing and where you both are going. If you do not know what a covenant is, how will you lead her? If you are without knowledge, how will you build a life with her that will make her feel secure? Your education should cover the following:

a) Learning that Love is A Verb (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

b) Marriage and relationships

c) Effective Communication

d) Financial Responsibility & Planning

e) Being the Spiritual Leader in Your Home

f) Providing for her within your means

g) Leading from the front in love

h) Knowing How to Apologize Effectively

i) Forgiveness

j) Having an Active Prayer Life

k) Having a vision for yourself, your family and helping with her vision

There are more but these might get you a good portion of the way. Boaz is a great example of a man who is prepared to receive a wife. You can research him in the book of Ruth. There are great resources to help you with these topics. Here is a list that may help.

2) Great Partners Will Recognize Each Other – The best way to find a great partner is to be one. A man should know what scripture says about a wife: Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. There is additional insight in Proverbs 31:10-31 as well.

Women like this need a man who is considerate. Are you? As a single man, you might tend to be self-centered, looking out for only yourself right now. Volunteering is a great way to learn consideration and to meet people. People who volunteer their time helping others are likely very considerate, can emphasize easily with others, and are usually very kind. People like this are usually attractive.

3) A Good Partner is Chaste – In today’s hook-up culture, people feel that if they cannot sleep with you, how will they know what they are getting long-term? They want to test drive the car, so to speak. But a person who is chaste is one who is particular and clearly has a healthy sense of self. They are content and don’t mind waiting for the “one.” These are those that are “married-for-life” people and the type of person that you want. In short, they are looking for someone similar.

4) A Good Partner is One Who Prays – We will not have all the answers. There will be times that we will face problems that only God, Himself will have the answers to. This is where having a prayer life comes in. Marriage, love, and covenant are all God’s ideas. Having a partner that prays is precious. They will see you as made in His image and will likely know what the scriptures already say about marriage. Having a lifelong marriage is only possible with God’s help. He will help you both fulfill His purpose for your life individually and as a couple.

5) Understanding That Becoming "One" Is a Process - In the book of Genesis, God said the following: Genesis 2:24 (NIV) 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This means that becoming "one" is a process that will take time if you will be patient with your spouse and humbly allow it. God will use you both to develop you into your best selves. Patience, care, love, and forgiveness will be required.

In closing, Reading, listening to audiobooks, watching videos, etc. alone won't get the job done. You will have to put it all into practice and on a daily basis. I trust that this helped you.

You can find this and other articles written by John on Quora here.

-John

What to Do When You are Standing In Faith for Things That Seem Delayed

 Greetings All,

If you are like me, you are praying for your family, your future, and the things that you want to see manifest in your life. Yet, when the days are going by, and it appears that nothing is happening, how do you respond? How do you keep from becoming discouraged? We need a defensive and offensive strategy. I am writing this to encourage myself and my readers also. First the defensive strategy.

I look to1 Peter 5:7 (AMPC) Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

Prayer is your defensive weapon against discouragement and your first line of communication to Heaven's Head Quarters. The Amplified version of this passage gives me hope and highlights that we are to cast all of our anxieties, worries, and concerns, once and for all... on Him. Meaning that once done, we don't take them back.

For the offensive strategy, I look to The Passion Translation to Proverbs 3:5-6 (TPT) 5 Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. 6 Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.

Intimacy with God can be challenging. It means carving out a time where it's just you and Him. It takes patience, a time of worship, a time of quieting your mind and spirit, and a time of listening. All the while that you may not see anything changing in your life as time goes by.

The best I can tell you is not to give up. God honors His words and He promised to answer when we pray. Jesus says in Mark 11:24 (TPT) This is the reason I urge you to boldly believe for whatever you ask for in prayer—be convinced that you have received it and it will be yours.

In closing, the scriptures say in 2 Corinthians 10:4 (NIV) 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

The weapons the scripture is talking about here is praise and worship. Praise is irresistible to God. Psalms 22:3 (KJV) 3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

Sing your favorite praise and worship songs in this season. Sing along with your favorite praise and worship song unto God and watch what God does.

It is not my intention to sound overly simplistic. As I did this, I was encouraged to write this inspired by God's direction. Perhaps it is the last piece of the puzzle before my breakthrough. I kindly recommend that you do whatever you are inspired to do as well.

Love,

-John