I would start with the wisdom of the Bible in the book of James. James 1:19-20 (NIV) says: 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
The word "righteousness" means "right standing with God." Since you used the word "spouse," it lets me know that at some point in your past, you and your spouse stood before a priest or officiant and entered into a marriage covenant before God. You did so to please God, and your vows were the scope by which you would do so.
I would also practice "active listening" versus "passive listening." It is a better way to have a conversation and will significantly assist you in developing and maintaining your marriage.
Active listening and James' advice are excellent ways of showing your love for your husband and being in right standing before God. When I say "love," I am talking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV) love: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Touching while talking is an effective non-verbal way of letting your spouse know that you love them, no matter the difficulty of the topic. This can be done by simply touching their leg, shoulder, hand etc.
I would also become an avid learner about marriage and relationships. Reading great books can fast-track your progress. There is so much to learn, and the results will stabilize your relationship in an unexpected way.
-John
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