What is bad about a prenuptial agreement is you shouldn't have to have one. It can be compared to Moses, allowing husbands in their day, to write a letter of divorce because husbands would kill their wives to get out of a marriage.
A prenup projects to the person that you are about to marry that they cannot be trusted to be who they say they are and to do what they say they will do. In my humble opinion, if you cannot trust the person in the first place, do not marry them. This goes for both men and women. Since you are likely a man asking this question, I will answer in kind. Unfortunately, over time this happens all too frequently. Statistics also say that people can pretend to be someone that they are not for approximately nine months. This is why waiting to marry them for twelve months is vitally important.
I believe that statistics say now that from 75-80% of divorces are initiated by women. Why is this? Could it be that all the men who married them were mistaken or is there possibly another reason for this? I will answer your question by first answering these.
1) Women file for divorce because both husband and wife do not understand what a marriage covenant is and what it truly means before getting married. They have likely bought into the societal notion that marriage is simply a contract. It is NOT. Based on their misunderstanding, they act accordingly.
2) Most women may not understand that marriage is not designed primarily for happiness, but for purpose. When things start getting tough, instead of going through the tough times together, they quit. I liken marriage similar to two pilots flying a jumbo jet full of passengers, all 524 of them. They begin to suffer turbulence, even severe turbulence and your copilot bails out of the aircraft, leaving the Captain to land the aircraft solo. Beware of women who haven't gone through tough times in one form or another.
3) In the United States, decades of feminism have crept into the justice system and thus the courts. That said, the courts usually will involuntarily transfer the husband’s wealth to the wife no matter the reason for the divorce, especially when there are children involved. In other words, wives can misbehave, cheat, lie, and steal, and divorce their husbands even though she was at fault. Win, win for her as she keeps her new boyfriend. If there were consequences for misbehavior, this would likely make wives reconsider and perhaps not make divorce their first choice.
4) Husbands usually have built careers, businesses, etc., and have great assets to support a wife and family before getting married. Coming into a marriage with these same assets can be a curse because the wife usually has little or no skin in the marriage game the way that the husband does. Therefore, she can enter the marriage with meager financial assets, and on a whim, choose to leave far better off than she came.
The prenup is a legal vehicle to try to mitigate the great loss of assets a husband will likely experience if his wife decides that she wants to join the 75-80% of women who file for divorce in the United States. I say “try” because unfortunately, for the reasons I previously stated, a biased judge can throw the prenup completely out and choose not to accept it for whatever assumptions or reason that they prefer. There is then nothing the husband can do about it. Even so, you can put a term limit on it. For example, if you both stay married for 10 years, you can stipulate that the prenup will terminate after ten years or whatever term you specify.
My first answer to your question is based on the book of Proverbs 4:7 (KJV) 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
You can attempt to do your very best to vet the person that you are going to marry. Make sure they have read any number of marriage and relationship books while in the dating phase. Attending regular church services together significantly reduces the risk of divorce according to author Shaunti Feldhahn in her book “The Good News About Marriage - Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce.” Even so, the longevity of your marriage would still not be guaranteed.
My second answer would be to trust God with the selection of your wife. He can see into the future. He knows you better than you do. He knows who, and where the best match for you would be and you will never need a prenup. That’s what I am now doing after getting divorced. God’s selection will be far better than mine.
-John
Photo by Andre Jackson on Unsplash
