Despite
what modern-day women or feminists say, men are the prize, not women. It is a
fact that there are more marriage-eligible women than men. More men refuse to
marry in the current hostile marital climate making the number of
marriage-eligible men even less.
This is likely due to the threat that 84% of all divorces are initiated by women, that the courts and child support system is biased against men, and that whether or not a wife cheats or files for divorce over the most ridiculous reasons, she will likely get half of everything they built during the marriage relationship. This transfer of the man's wealth is forced even though she likely brought very little in terms of assets into the relationship.
That said, he also may not be inclined to
marry you because of how you allowed him to treat you. To be honest, men are
hunters, and if you didn’t make him work for it, for him the hunt is over. One
of the most exciting things about hunting is the challenge brought by the prey.
In the beginning, you probably wouldn’t have
given him the time of day. You made him ask you on a date no less than three
times before you accepted. When he got the date, the next challenge for him
would be the first kiss. Perhaps weeks go by and he finally gets it!
Fast forward, a few dates later you two are
behaving like a married couple, you moved in together (Mistake) even though
there is no clear commitment, no ring, no date. This is a huge mistake. First
marriage cannot be simulated. Second, there is no established committee to stay
and work things out no matter what as in a real marital relationship. That
said, as far as he’s concerned, he's got his prize. No need to pursue or hunt
anymore. Now on to the next hunt. Unfortunately, whatever that is, you can
believe, it’s not you anymore.
Ladies, the courting process is the only
opportunity that you may have to make him value you and do so for life. If you
treat yourself inexpensively, so will he. May I remind you that you are made in
the image and likeness of God? It is true, we teach others how to treat us.
Have him meet the parents and ask permission! This is still a time-honored
tradition in many foreign countries to this day and one that can potentially
save you tremendous pain and suffering. Parents have more experience with
people and may likely see things that you may miss about your potential
partner.
The obvious question may be: “What do men want
in a wife? May I suggest as stated by the late Kevin Samuels, that men want
women who are:
- Attractive
- Are cooperative, smart, and agreeable
- Fit
- Are affectionate, accommodating, subtle
- Are disciplined and discerning
-Feminine (Not strong and independent)
-Naturally nurturing
- Carefree, loving, easygoing
If this is not you, this could be the answer
to your question. If this is so, I would start by reading great marriage and relationship books. You
cannot use what you have not learned. If you have issues and know it, get
therapy and work on yourself. If you are not fit, go to the gym, and get fit.
To be clear, the competition for a good man is
high. There are already ladies that have done the work, who are fit, ready, and
likely even younger than you who are competing for the same men. Raise your
level to get the type of man that would be willing to marry you, in spite of
all the reasons I mentioned that men are comfortable with. May I include offering
to sign a prenup that may sweeten the deal if you are truly willing to enter
into a marriage
covenant for life?
In closing, this next piece of advice is hard.
If he’s settled in and there is no sign of a marriage commitment after a year,
have him move out into his own place. This time, if he wants you, make him earn
you, and goodness sakes, do NOT sleep with him until after the wedding. Women
in the past generations understood this principle and nearly all who wanted to
be married got married. In best case scenario he will. Better case scenario, he
leaves and someone else who is willing to earn you, will!
-John
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