In my humble opinion, finding a wife is not about discovering her. In the Bible, there are a number of accounts that I will reference to assist you. If you are prepared for her, and you are praying for her, God will bring her to you, like He brought Eve to Adam, Rachel to Isaac, and Ruth to Boaz.
Too many men assume that they are prepared. What sense would it make for God to send you a beautiful, and honorable wife (His daughter) and you cause her to cry out to Him in anguish as the result of your misbehavior and mistreatment of her? He wouldn't until you were ready. The following are a few points to consider.
1) Have you prepared yourself with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding? -Proverbs 4:7 (KJV) says: 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
The marriage covenant is very serious. As her husband, you need to know what you are doing and where you both are going. If you do not know what a covenant is, how will you lead her? If you are without knowledge, how will you build a life with her that will make her feel secure? Your education should cover the following:
a) Learning that Love is A Verb (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
b) Marriage and relationships
c) Effective Communication
d) Financial Responsibility & Planning
e) Being the Spiritual Leader in Your Home
f) Providing for her within your means
g) Leading from the front in love
h) Knowing How to Apologize Effectively
i) Forgiveness
j) Having an Active Prayer Life
k) Having a vision for yourself, your family and helping with her vision
There are more but these might get you a good portion of the way. Boaz is a great example of a man who is prepared to receive a wife. You can research him in the book of Ruth. There are great resources to help you with these topics. Here is a list that may help.
2) Great Partners Will Recognize Each Other – The best way to find a great partner is to be one. A man should know what scripture says about a wife: Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. There is additional insight in Proverbs 31:10-31 as well.
Women like this need a man who is considerate. Are you? As a single man, you might tend to be self-centered, looking out for only yourself right now. Volunteering is a great way to learn consideration and to meet people. People who volunteer their time helping others are likely very considerate, can emphasize easily with others, and are usually very kind. People like this are usually attractive.
3) A Good Partner is Chaste – In today’s hook-up culture, people feel that if they cannot sleep with you, how will they know what they are getting long-term? They want to test drive the car, so to speak. But a person who is chaste is one who is particular and clearly has a healthy sense of self. They are content and don’t mind waiting for the “one.” These are those that are “married-for-life” people and the type of person that you want. In short, they are looking for someone similar.
4) A Good Partner is One Who Prays – We will not have all the answers. There will be times that we will face problems that only God, Himself will have the answers to. This is where having a prayer life comes in. Marriage, love, and covenant are all God’s ideas. Having a partner that prays is precious. They will see you as made in His image and will likely know what the scriptures already say about marriage. Having a lifelong marriage is only possible with God’s help. He will help you both fulfill His purpose for your life individually and as a couple.
5) Understanding That Becoming "One" Is a Process - In the book of Genesis, God said the following: Genesis 2:24 (NIV) 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
This means that becoming "one" is a process that will take time if you will be patient with your spouse and humbly allow it. God will use you both to develop you into your best selves. Patience, care, love, and forgiveness will be required.
In closing, Reading, listening to audiobooks, watching videos, etc. alone won't get the job done. You will have to put it all into practice and on a daily basis. I trust that this helped you.
You can find this and other articles written by John on Quora here.
-John
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